Why you should disable “vibrate mode” on your phone.
Spoiler: It’ll improve your life.
Let’s say we’re having a face-to-face conversation. Then, PFVVVVVVVVVV!!!!!!! My face may communicate that I am paying attention to our conversation, and my phone hasn’t left my pocket, but my thoughts have left the building. And honestly, you could tell I was completely elsewhere. You’re just so polite and didn’t want to say anything.
In search of some kind of sanity
In an attempt to cut down on distractions, I started turning off notifications for twitter, facebook, snapchat, email (you know the drill). Truth be told, I like all that warm, fuzzy validation that comes from “likes” and “comments” and “retweets” and “spam emails.”
Still, the thought of someone on the other side of the globe who I don’t really even know being able to literally shake my attention away from the people in the room with me whom I really even like is preposterous. BUT THAT IS WHAT WE ALL DO!
So I found another solution. I decided to keep the endorphin-drip of notifications on, but! I’ve turned off all the vibrations. No more. No more shaking, buzzing, rattling. Now my phone sits completely still unless I move it.
You might think that I miss stuff. Like phone calls? Yeah, I do sometimes, but it’s just not that important to me. I see all the messages soon enough. Most people I like just text me anyway.
The Fallacy of Silence
It’s amazing that anyone considers vibrate mode “silence.” We’ve all called someones lost phone and located it by hearing a the buzz within the sofa thats in the room on the other side of the house.
It’s ridiculous that theaters have to remind their patrons that vibrate does not equal silent.
Everyone’s phone is on vibrate these days (except people over 55 — theirs is on the loudest setting and when it rings in embarrassing situations, they can never figure out how to make it stop).
Bottom line: Vibrate is the new ringtone. And you know what? Silence is the new vibrate. Or something like that. You get where I’m going here.
The Tech Strangle
Technology is sneaky. Sure, advancements have been fast, but the slow drip of new features has allowed more and more notifications to creep into our daily flow.
The pager buzzes from 1997 were both rare and important (often of a life-or-death nature). Today it’s not uncommon to get a millionbillion (unimportant) notifications a day.
Now it’s a no brainer that I’d like to see a panda cuddling with a litter of kittens, but it’s probably not worth interrupting the flow of my yearly review or even more important, story time with my 2-year-old (actually, she would probably love a panda gif. Bad example).
Death by a thousand VVVVVVVVs
The psychology of a pocket buzz is pretty simple. You’re living in the present, owning your day, when all of the sudden:
“PPFFVVVVVVVVVVVVVV!! VVVVVVV! VVVVVVV! VVVVVVV!”
“Just ignore it,” you think to yourself.
“It’s not important.”
“Or is it?”
“Maybe it’s a shipping notification for that avocado slicer I ordered on Amazon.”
“It could be a reply to that potentially controversial email I sent to my boss a week ago that he still hasn’t replied to.”
“I’d better check, won’t take a minute”
“Oh. It was a Twitter notification. Someone liked a tweet I posted. That’s cool.”
“Who is this person? I don’t follow them. Let’s look through their feed. They have some funny tweets.”
“Oh, this video they tweeted looks interesting.” (You watch it.)
“This related video on youtube looks funny!” (You watch that one too.)
Watch.. watch.. watch.. watch.. watch.. [the sun slowly sets and rises again the next morning] watch.. watch.. watch.. [all relationships dwindle, fat accumulates around midsection, employment is terminated, eviction ensues, death is imminent].
This is not an exaggeration. We have all done this many many times. And why? Because VVVVVVVVVV.
Here’s the thing...
It’s been about 2 months since I’ve deactivated my vibrate setting. Now, a few times a day and on my terms, I turn my phone over and look at what new messages, alerts and social validation has come in. I enjoy it. And then I go back to my life without the interruptions from the tiny glowing screen in my pocket. And so should you.
